


Wedding Woes

by MeatbunKun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Reader-Insert, eh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 22:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14365215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeatbunKun/pseuds/MeatbunKun
Summary: Weddings weren't always all sunshine and bliss-and these guests were about to witness your inner bridezillareader x various!haikyuu oneshots





	Wedding Woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuck

**f!reader x Kyoutani Kentarou**

 

~~~~

 

If one more person even deigned to  _think_ of coming up and congratulating you, you were going to explode in the most spectacular bout of violence this dingy bar has seen yet, they would catch your hands and suffer your unwavering, tipsy vengeance.  
  
"So where's the lucky groom?" Another shot of blessed,  _blessed_ liquor is set down beside your head where you was slumped over the dirty counter surface (you were pretty sure this stain impeded in the wood was  _blood_ ).  
  
Except for the bartender because he's your angel in disguise armed with alcohol and an interest solely in your money, not your life story. You kind of want to kiss him.  
  
"Please don't."  
  
Whoops, you must've said that aloud.    
  
"Sorry, I'm going through a little bit of a crisis." You still talk coherently, despite the numerous empty glasses surrounding you, barely feeling the call of drunkness. You lift the full shot glass into the air and declare airily, "I'd like to thank my father for my high tolerance," before throwing it back with ease, relishing the burn in your throat.   
  
The bartender (you want to say Shigeo....or Shingou...you tuned him out after the whole 'what can I get you' to be honest) automatically starts preparing you another, this time something fruity looking- its obnoxiously pink and has an umbrella- you knew telling him to surprise you was an excellent idea. "So?"  
  
"Mmm?" You trace the rim of the shot glass with a recently manicured finger, staring down into it as if it contained the secrets of the universe inside. "Well I'm decked out in this cake topper while brooding in this shithole-no offense- instead of living it up in Tahiti so what do you think?" You scowl and clench your fist around the glass, wishing you could crush it in your palm but you're not exactly in the mood to pay reparations for anything you break during your stay in this dingy hole-in-the-wall. "He's probably there banging his secretary instead.  _Sakura_ ." You spit out her name contemptuously, "The bitch gives all the Sakura's a bad name. God, and his secretary?? What a fucking cliché!"  
  
"Damn.." Your lord and savior Shugo whistles and slides your freshly made cocktail your way.  
  
Then someone just goes right in and snatches it as its inches from reaching you.  
  
And you're not far behind in spitting out rage and righteousness, livid (e/c) orbs trailing up the hand and arm to stare the guy you were about to kill right in the eyes. "Dude what the ever-loving fu-ahhhh shit." Your words taper off abruptly when you look into  the familiar face.  
  
"You're still in your tux." You point out the obvious for lack of knowing what to say when on the receiving end of the acidic glare of your childhood friend.  
  
"Imagine that." Kentarou drawls with a sneer, "And here you are in your wedding dress. Almost like we were at the same place or something." He peers down at your relinquished drink and grimaces, yet still takes a hearty sip from it, "that same place you ditched me behind to deal with the chaos by the way." He slips off his blazer and slides onto a barstool beside you, dropping the jacket carelessly to the ground-your fiancé had paid for it anyways so you two could care less what happened to it at this point.   
  
"Your sarcasm is not appreciated right now Kentarou." You huff primly and steal back the cocktail, gulping it down and slam the glass onto the bar counter, lower lip wobbling despite your attempts to push down any feelings aside from anger. "Ugh.... Why didn't you talk me out of this?"  
  
"I did." He deadpans, rolling tawny eyes. "He was a jackass and I told you so, that you shouldn't marry him. I was right." He doesn't mince his words despite your obvious melancholy, ever the pinnacle of kindliness your best friend was.   
  
"Shut up." You mutter moodily, gaze skewing to the side, "He was not..."  
  
"He'd always talk shit about your weight, convinced you to go on that stupid vegan diet. As if you'd survive a week without bacon."  
  
You did like your meat...(perverted connotations aside)  
  
"Constantly bragged about himself and his job, and then didn't bother caring about your work- like when you closed that big important deal that got you promoted and he did jack shit." Oh goodie, looked like he was counting off all the instances your fiancé was less than desired, he was using his finger and everything.  
  
Yeah, it was disappointing how unexcited he was about the whole thing, but Kentarou had taken you out for drinks and dinner to celebrate so you ended up forgetting his underreaction in the end.  
  
"Canceled dates all the time and got you shitty presents for your birthdays."  
  
Oh god, like that time he apparently forgot you were allergic to peanuts and got you a box of peanut butter filled chocolates or that you hated peonies and he got you a huge bouquet of them. And then he didn't really bother making any plans- Kentarou took you out to a ballgame to watch your favorite team and there was the time you got to wander around the aquarium after hours, totally made up for the close brush of anaphylactic death.  
  
"Or-"  
  
Point made. Extensively. "Okay, okay! He was a shitty fiancé and I shouldn't have stuck with him for so long, he obviously wasn't invested in the relationship and was more interested in himself." You groan into your palms, no doubt smearing what used to be an immaculate makeup job. "I was an idiot."  
  
You lift your head and smooth out the wrinkles in your dress, eyeing the glittering fabric speculatively. "I liked the idea of having a day being all about me and getting dolled up. It's always workout shorts and ratty t-shirts for me, what better reason to look like a princess than my wedding day? And I guess my shitty dating life just led me to believe that I wasn't gonna get another chance after this....So I settled for a douchebag."   
  
Kentarou doesn't respond as you stare resolutely down at your lap and you jolt when a frustrated growl is let out, "You're a mo-"  
  
"Do we have ourselves a pretty bride here in our fine establishhhment?" The gruff, slurring tone that interrupts the conversation rankles your nerves and you peek up wearily at the big, grizzly male swaying beside the two of you, dirty boots stomping all over the blazer on the ground. "Howz about ya get a last lay in, lil' lady, before ya tie yourssself down?"  
  
Your nose wrinkles at the candid smell of booze and sweat emanating from his every pore as Kentarou stares daggers at the interloper, ever the attack dog ready if the stranger steps one foot out of line. "Look, the wedding isn't even happening anymore and I'm kind of in the middle of something here so kindly piss off. I'm not interested."  
  
"Not happenin'? Even better!" He throws his hands up in the air as if its something to cheer about, the dick, "A little tumble in the sheets'll make ya forget about ol' groomy then. I'll cheer ya _right up_ ." And then a grimy paw reaches out to try its luck in touching you, owner evidently not realizing what a frankly  _terrible_ idea that is.   
  
And because Kentarou is a beastly brute who wouldn't know restraint if it slapped him in the face, the only warning he gives of his intentions is a rumbly 'she's not interested' before chaos breaks out. And you watch in horror as he delivers a particularly well aimed right hook into the drunkard's nose, despite being shorter and outweighed by a substantial bit.  
  
"Oh my god, can you not, for once in your life, pick a fight??" You jump to your feet, stumbling slightly in your stilettos, when the man rears back in shock before he takes a step towards Kentarou with a raised fist promising revenge. "Don't you fucking touch him!" You throw a shot glass at the guy's fat head, reparation payments be damned, kick out targeting for somewhere particularly painful. Unfortunately you're in a dress with little give to it so you end up hitting his shin; though it connects solidly because he swears and jumps back. "This fucking-" Fed up you reach down and rip the fabric until you look like some porno bride from hell- garter belt exposed, skirt hem reaching dangerous levels and a countenance that promises pain to whoever crosses your path from here on out.  
  
"I can remember at least 12 times off the top of my head where  _you're_ the one who picked a fight. And that was just this year." He ducks a meaty fist-and apparently this little fight because an all out war where everyone wants to hit somebody- while you clothesline a weedy runt of a man who runs at Kentarou from behind. "You've been watching too many action films, ripping your dress like some badass wannabe." A flash of canines as he grins darkly at you, because  _of course_ he's having fun inducing a fucking bar brawl.  
  
Then again, so were you.  
  
Red lips part as you throw back your head and cackle, kicking off your heels for better stabilizing and you read your fists up in front of you, "Jesus fuck, left at the alter and starting my first bar fight! What a day.... Alright, fuck it, I have frustrations to take out on some drunk ass idiots."  
  
"Before you try and go all Chun-Li on everybody," Callused hands clasp your cheeks and jerk you forward as Kentarou plants his mouth over yours in quick succession before pulling back just as fast, "You're stupid if you think you'd never have a chance with anyone except that dipshit." Its a mess of red, his face smeared in your lipstick and yours in...blood, gross.   
  
"And you say I watch too many movies." Your voice comes out breathy and embarrassingly affected by such a chaste kiss, but you can't find it in yourself to care too much at the moment, "Confessing mid-battle? We're going to talk about this later, don't think you can avoid it. For the sake of coming out this place alive though...." You eye a heavily tattooed woman who begins stomping towards you and light up from the brilliant, tipsy idea you suddenly get. "Watch this!" And your proclivities for ridiculous action films become really pronounced as you deliver a roundhouse kick to her shaved cranium.  
  
It just went further downhill from there.

 

~~~~

 

"Bye Shigeru-san!~"

"Its Furihata."

"The good thing about seedy shithole bars....is you can't be banned for starting a fight. Because a place like that, its gonna happen anyways." You'd lost your shoes in the ensuing madness and hiss as you stumble over cobblestones, arm slung around Kentarou's waist as he has one draped over your shoulder, both of you supporting one another as you totter away from the rowdy building. "Your nose is bleeding all over me." You glance up at him, fixated on the dripping liquid that was steadily dying white(ish, bar fights were a little detrimental to keeping white clean) satin red. "Gross."

"Your dress is fucked beyond hope anyways." He shrugs uncaringly, "Besides, you should see your face. Look like shit."

"Jerk." You pout, as much as you can with a swollen bottom lip that is, and pinch his side vindictively. 

"Bitch."

You trudge along the path a little longer in silence, all the shops around dark and advertising closed signs and the streets barren of anyone else. 

"So like. I hope you realize how tacky it is to tell me how you feel the day I was supposed to get married."

He groans, rolling his head to look away, probably blushing intensely given the pinking state of his ears. "Shut up, I'm aware. But I wasn't about to let you mope in your little pity party of one."

"Mm. Knight in bloody tuxedo Kenken, always there to help kick my mistakes in the ass." You ponder to yourself then slide your hand down his arm to clasp his, ignoring his inquisitive stare. "What's my favorite color?"

"You're above such opinions and have equal feelings about every hue and shade because its pointless to choose a single one over the others." His words are rehearsed, parroting something you've probably said a billion times.

"Why don't I like peonies?"

"In elementary school you were messing around in a plot of them and got stung by a bee; and you're the kind of idiot who'd blame and hold a grudge against a flower ever since."

"Alright, what's my deepest darkest secret that I never told anyone?"

"You're the reason why old man Takeda who lived down the street got arrested back when we were in middle school when you found a bag of weed behind a playground bench, for some reason thought it was those tea leaves he always used and put them in his coat the day a cop was out with one of their dogs."

"How the heck did you know that??"

"Read your diary."

"Damn it, I knew someone was going through it...!"

"What's the point of asking all this shit, it's all stuff I know." His nose wrinkles in consternation, making him like a cute, confused dog. Which...huh.

"Eh." You squint and think how to word your next question before deciding blunt delivery suited you just fine. "Wanna get hitched?"

"...."

"....?"

"And you say I'm tacky," Kentarou huffs and laughs to himself, "But here you are proposing right after breaking an engagement."

"I guess..." You tilt your head and hum, resting against his shoulder as you swing your conjoined hands between you, "But we've been basically married since childhood, you know literally everything about me....What color underwear am I wearing right now?"

  
"Your 'lucky' panda ones that make you look 12."

"See? The only reason I was with the dipshit was because you didn't bother saying anything sooner, were you waiting until you could burst in through the church doors yelling 'I object!' or something??"

"I am not about to get into it with you about why I didn't say anything before."

"Good, too much trouble to bother with when it doesn't matter now. So just give in already and say yes. You've been taking me out on unofficial not-dates forever now, you're always there for me and I liked kissing you. It'll be the same as we've been, only with more making out and the sharing of last names and you'll have to deal with me leaving wet towels on the ground constantly." 

"..."

"Plus it'll piss of our 'rents even more than they probably are right now and I kinda wanna see my dad's head implode."

"Shit, I've dealt with your bad decisions for this long. What's one more?"

Halting to a stop you pivot on your heel to rest your chin on his chest, gazing up at him with a mischievous grin, "You saying you're a bad decision Kenken? Can't be any worse than the last guy I tried to marry."

"Shut up." And then he cuts off any further smartass remarks when he ducks down to kiss you again.

 

~~~~

 

.

.

.

.

.

 

"Hey mom, don't freak out, I'm still alive. Also me 'n Kenken ended up eloping last minute so I  _did_ get married in the end. So like, if everyone in my apartment could just vacate for a good day or two, I kinda have a honeymoon to start and a new hubby to help with christening its every surface."

 

~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....there was a point reached where bun just kinda gave up, started hating it midway and wanted this to end lmao, so ignore the shitty af majority 
> 
>  
> 
> next is m!brother of the bride x .....someone, ??? who yet lolol


End file.
